Conventional Wisdom?

something special is about to happen. i haven’t stopped grinning for the past couple of days.

i hope things don’t get messed up soon.

isn’t it weird that by the time you read this
i won’t be feeling these feelings anymore?
i say these things off the top.
no corrections.
no refining the thoughts.

—————-

visually appealing
emotionally wrecked
if you’re the former, you’re not always the latter,
but sometimes it feels that way.
. . . not that I would know or anything

thoughts like these give me the shivvvvvers 

life would be a lot easier if we didn’t have to make decisions

i wish things would just happen automatically, and I didn’t have to think about everything

that would be. . .interesting.

like trees, or dogs.

 staring up at stars makes me think of my entire life and what it has become

i stare at the past and wonder where all of it went

maybe looking up isn’t as beneficial as looking straight ahead into the future.

i guess it’s time for a change. . . I could get used to this. . .

it’s better to feel something than nothing, that’s what I always say. is it true?

would you rather feel completely emotionless with nothing to love, hate, fear or want? or would you rather feel the worst kind of pain there is?

it’s a toss up for me. sometimes I feel like feeling something (ANYTHING) would be better than feeling nothing. the feeling of nothing is often times so much worse than the pain of something.

does this make sense? probably not, but at least I know what I mean.

it makes me happy when i hear that a friend of mine is writing. why do people enjoy it? they get to put their thoughts onto a page, and that right there is a feeling of absolute accomplishment. there is no material reward (at this point), no extrinsic motivations. it comes from within which is one of the most rewarding aspects of it all.

i know what I’m saying makes no sense at all, but that’s the beauty of this whole entire thing. nobody cares what you’re writing about. as long as it keeps you sane, nothing should be wrong with it.

sometimes i feel that if i didn’t write down what i was feeling before i went to bed that i somehow failed. failed that day. failed to remember what happened to me, and left the day a total mess.

chaos. . .WHOA

i think it’s safe to say that I will not miss this feeling of absolute disarray

i think it’s fair game for everyone to say what they want to say

but sometimes what they say isn’t what you wanted them to say in the first place. . .ya dig?

on the floor, in the drawer, in the closet, hanging on the door

don’t question everything you hear, because you will end up just wanting more. . .

it’s smooth down here
but the parachutes up there are looking at me like
i’m some sort of prehistoric insect that doesn’t mean anything
to anyone

which isn’t a nice feeling
but it’s something that will have to do for now. take everything away from me before it’s too late……..o wait, you already have